not mine

if only the love i feel is just a game
the one i can shut off before finishing
that wouldnt even matter if i dont win

if only the cut in my heart isnt so deep
the one that will be forgotten after i sleep
that wouldnt even matter if i bleed

the perfume

it’s been awhile
since I last hold the bottle
the heady scent is still strong
recollecting by bits
smiles and laughter
hatred and bitter

inside our mind
the long-term memory won’t fade just like that
it stays
hurting what’s left inside

but i don’t wanna be reminded
i wanna stay secluded
like this

so let me be in denial
believing
that
it’s just another bottle of perfume
on my desk
nothing more
nothing less

di hari jadi kamu

Kita mencari sebuah ketenangan
Dalam kerinduan
Kita masih mengejar kenangan
Kita lupa pada perhitungan
Cinta ini dibuai arus lagi
Berolek ke kanan kiri
Cuba dicapai tapi kenapa ia pergi ?
Berkali hati kita ditarah
Tak pernah sembuh !
Lantas kenapa kita masih gah ?
Lirikan matanya memandang
Pantas kita terdiam
Cuba melihat dia pergi
Cuba berlari mendapatkannya lagi
Kita tak mampu…
Andai sejuta senyuman kita hadiahkan
Sejuta saat cumalah kita bahagia
Yang lain ?
Rapuh..
Seringkali kita mengaduh…
Sakitnya mencinta
Bila tak mungkin bersama
Lama kita pendamkan rasa
Cuba melupakan nyata
Kita tak dapat…
Bayangannya ada di mana-mana
Katanya kita iyakan saja
Sedang pedih… di dada.. menikam…
Nyalanya bagai api dalam sekam
Bolehkah kita sama-sama berjanji
Kita akan terus berlari
Kali ini bukan untuknya
Tapi untuk kita
Untuk kita setia mencari bahagia
Atas nama satu persahabatan
Atas nama satu ikatan
Cinta ini terpaksa kita korbankan

looking at her

I dreamed of a cotillion
There were hundreds of people
I stared ahead
12 o'clock from my place

My feelings were elusive
My mind was pondering.
Ceaseless.

It was hard to smile
Much less to laugh
Nothing could make me feel better

I remember it vividly
Each and every single move
Like a hawk, watching closely
Very closely. Eerie.

My chest tightened
Huge lump in my throat.
Speechless.
Hatred and anger
came across the unforgiving heart

I tried to restrain
the feeling to strangle
The tension was unbearable

No one. No one.
Nobody could take it from me
It was too fragile to even mention
Yet not easily be broken

I wasn't alone
I was looking at her
She was lonely
A tear, dropped...